$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
