I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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