i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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