You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When are your genitals available?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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