He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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