It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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