I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
