No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just found puke in my bra..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
