Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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