i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
