not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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