when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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