i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
