What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
