Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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