you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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