dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
