it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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