Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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