There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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