so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
