I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
