How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize