I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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