I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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