the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
