It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She said her name was "party"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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