time to smoke my breakfast
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I didn't notice because vodka
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize