Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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