Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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