u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
