Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
