You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize