I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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