Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
