she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
