no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
