He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
