when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
