an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize