He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
