Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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