so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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