he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
