when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
