VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's get the cat blown out
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
