i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
