Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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