Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
