Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
