period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
