so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
