even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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