I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want nice things and good sex
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
