There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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