I got chris browned last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
