smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The air was thick with penises
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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