the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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