it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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